Part of the things I’ve been changing lately is that I’m trying to be more outgoing and social. This is probably something that sounds silly to most people, but for me it’s something that’s been bothering me – a lot. I’ve noticed for a long time that I’m always the one initiating conversations, it’s only roughly 2 or 3 people that will start to talk to me. That’s something that’s been going on for years, but whenever I talk to someone it’ll be a fun conversation (if the person’s up for a talk that is). So because of that I’ve never really known why this was the case, do people simply expect me to initiate the conversation?
As such I’m sometimes just finding myself not talking to anyone as I’m not initiating conversations just to see if that’s changed, then I’ll just end up feeling lonely if I’m not actively doing something or even when I am. Turns out that after all those years, that is one thing that doesn’t seem to be changing, despite me trying to be more open and social towards other people. I know I used to (and can still be) quite closed off at times and will give only short answers. The funny thing is that when others do it, I consider it rude and unpleasant, yet it’s something I’ve done for so long myself.