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Interesting question my dad asked me

I was out for dinner to celebrate me buying an apartment and at one point during the evening my dad suddenly dropped a rather serious question on my (rather drunk) ass. I figured that I’d share it here as it really stood out to me. We were pretty much just talking about random stuff when all of a sudden he turned to me and asked me the following:

Should I be worried about you? You own several swords, daggers, knifes. You go on holiday and fire automatic rifles for fun and you read these crazy mythology books and recently I saw you reading a book about serial killers. Are you going to be the next shooter or something? Because if they then ask me “Did you see it coming?” … I’m not sure what to answer.

That question definitely caught me off-guard a bit and I didn’t realize that it was meant rather seriously, hence I jokingly said “That’s up to you to decide, I’ll see the van with the people with the white suit coming”. But then I noticed the look on his face and explained that I merely like swords and guns and that I’m interested in psychology and want to know how those people think and act.

I also said “Well, if you do send people after me, I know I will have no problem with any psych-evaluation as I know I’m stable and not crazy.” But I can’t help but feel weirdly about even having to answer that question. What’s your take on this? Are my interests really so suspicious, or is he really exaggerating?

  • He asks because he cares and has concerns. I suspect the real issue here is that he feels that he doesn’t know you. It’s a lack of communication. Maybe if you explained your hobbies to him, and why they interest you, it may make things easier. Try to involve him if possible. Talk about history, or how such craftsmanship was made in a time when electricity was more fantasy than magic or dragons? He doesn’t have to get into it himself, so long as he can see why you do.

    All he sees is a young man who listens to “evil and angsty” metal, who’s amassing a collection of weapons and now has a fascination with serial killers. I mean .. C’mon just about anyone would think that’s a bit odd, and at least he said it to you. It’d be even worse if he felt that he couldn’t say it.

    There comes a point where we all have to start questioning our own hobbies and collections and make sure that they are just hobbies and not an obsession. –

    DEFkon

    August 17, 2012

  • Thanks for your response man,

    I have told him what interests me so in history/psychology before.. I’ve also said that I admire how much crafting skill goes into making a proper sword in a lot of detail and have definitely talked about that a whole lot.

    He also knows that a lot of the metal music is not evil or anything, he likes some of the bands I listen to himself. He knows that a lot of it is fantasy and whatever.

    I just never assumed that after all that he would still think of it like he apparently does.

    Aeterna

    August 17, 2012

  • Aeterna, considering your question “Are my interests really so suspicious, or is he really exaggerating?”, the answer is neither. Your dad is just being a dad and you should take in consideration the recent news of young people snapping and killing a bunch of people (just like that one in a US University and the more recent one in a cinema). That probably worried him. It is just a matter of not paying too much attention and continuing the same.

    Cheers

    Aewyre

    August 17, 2012

  • My advice to your father would be to go watch some of your playthroughs, then he would see what sensible son he has. :-)

    On collecting and reading weird stuff, I have been like that since I was a kid too, and now I am closing in on my 50 year anniversary. My hobbies are probably more diverse than I seen in any person I have ever met, and for that people find me kind of strange. People sometimes seem to see shadows everywhere thay possibly can, I honestly think the mass media have scared the main stream more than is good for us all.

    As DEFcon wisely says, your father is probably just caring for his son, and realizing he does not know his son as well as he had hoped for. So I think his question is a brave one, many parents would never even dare touch the subject.

    It is also a good thing for us strange guys to think through what kind of effect we have on our surroundings, sometimes it may even be worth trying to see ourselves from the mainstreams perspective. This usually makes me even more fond of being a “weirdo”, especially as long as it is only innocent hangups that is constantly changing. And I dread the day I will end up spending my days like too many so called mainstream people do. I hope my life will always be a life of constant change, shifing passions, new interrests/hobbies, new people and friends, instead of fading away into conformism and boredom, and then getting stuck to a television filled with american soap. I honestly question this kind of peoples sanity more than I would any goth with strange hobbies and funny taste in music.

    People should care more about their own lives than pestering us eccentrics. I consider fathers a healthy exception from that rule. :-)

    Puzzlefuzz

    August 31, 2012

  • I know my comment is rather late, but I wanted to thank you for your comment Puzzlefuzz, it’s much appreciated. It struck me a little as it made sense, yes

    I know the media is a factor but I didn’t think that my behaviors were that ‘odd’, or that he didn’t seem to know me that well. I guess I’m used to people having odd and unusual hobbies from the mainstream perspective.

    Aeterna

    September 13, 2012